A
man has a racehorse who never won a race. In disgust the man says, "
Horse, you win today or you will be pulling a milk wagon tomorrow
morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He
kicks the horse and asks, "Why on earth are you sleeping?", The horse,
half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
Q. Did you find my horse well behaved?
A. Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
Why
is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails, the
jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money
goodbye!
How did the instructor try to make horse riding enjoyable? He tried to stirrup some interest!
Q. How to make a small fortune in the horse industry ...
A. Start with a large fortune!
One
day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the
animal, he said to the farmer: "I think your horse looks pretty good,
so I'll give you €500 for him."
"He doesn't look so good, and he's not for sale," the farmer said.
The man insisted, "I think he looks just fine and I'll up the price to €1,000."
"He doesn't look so good," the farmer said, "but if you want him that much, he's yours."
The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the farmer and screamed, "You sold me a blind horse. You cheated me!"
The farmer calmly replied, "I told you he didn't look so good, didn't I?"
Q. Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A. He thought he might get a kick out of it!
You know you are a horse-person when:
-You click to your car when you go up a hill.
-Your horse's hair is in better condition than your own.
-You refer to your car as "my portable tack room".
-You
are exited when your friend tells you that there is a huge sale at the
bridle shop, then you are disappointed when you realise they mean the
bridal shop.
-You have the vet's number but not your childs doctors on your speed dial.
-Your other half can track dirt into the house all they want, but god help them if they muddy up the tack room.
-Your house is a mess, but the barn is as neat as a pin.
-Your nice clothes are the ones without horse hair all over them.
Q. What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A. One goes quick and the other goes quack!"
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